Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Re: Tuesday's marrow, linkwhores!

Still have faith in humanity?  Here's today's sanity ablating news stories:
Greased-Up Naked Ninja Nunchuck Rampage
"According to a police report, Smith attacked two officers with nunchucks when they came to his home to make an arrest. They also say the oil made it difficult for them to get a good grip on him."

Read article...

In a seemingly unrelated crime:
 Officials seek perpetrator in rape of poodle
A poodle is recovering today after its owner found her covered in feces and blood in the backyard of her northeast Phoenix home.

Arizona Humane Society spokeswoman Angela Stringfellow says the eight-pound, five-year-old toy poodle had been raped and sodomized by a human.

or was it..?

"Homeowners in an Orange County, Fla., neighborhood claim their community has been overrun by rats big enough to pick fights with small dogs , according to a Local 6 News report."

Read article...

They hurled curses and intestines
"Seven animal-rights activists were arrested by Canadian fisheries officers on Sunday as the annual seal hunt got off to a violent start on the weekend." ... "The hunters hurled seal intestines and curses at the protesters, while activists claimed they were rammed by the sealing boats. In one incident off Nova Scotia's northern coast, sealers allegedly rammed a small inflatable Zodiac boat used by protesters."

Two heads are better than one
"An Egyptian girl who survived an operation to remove a second head has died from a brain infection." ... "Her second head could smile and blink, but could not survive independently." [With soul destroying picture.]


Lesbian Bleach Attack
"A mother-of-two poured bleach over her lesbian lover because she planned to meet up with an ex-girlfriend, a court has heard." ... "She then got up and walked to the mirror, and said it looked as if her face was coming off."

Mr Kimsey said: "She was shouting 'Help me, help me, I'm burning, I'm burning'."
Wilson replied: "Help you, I wouldn't spit on you."
Gimp Dies
"Kinky Robert Garnett boiled to death after snorting a potentially lethal dose of cocaine and putting on a rubber suit, an inquest heard yesterday. His body temperature soared, causing his brain to swell as he wore a fetishist style gimp outfit seen in the film Pulp Fiction. The 35-year-old McDonald's burger bar manager - a separated dad of one - was found in his bedroom after relatives had reported him missing."
Virtual reality machine gives police hallucinations 
"Things flash out of nowhere. Small voices saying, 'Go get your medication.' The bus driver is talking to you normally and ALL OF A SUDDEN he starts calling you 'Your Highness.' Then he becomes part of the hallucination."

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