Tuesday, January 01, 2008

The Highlander Moment

TarotHave you ever had the sudden sensation upon seeing some random stranger, in a completely innocuous context, and  a shot of adreneline chases up your spine and kicks you in the lizard brain, whispering 'Oh shit, I'm going to have to kill that fucker'?  It's a pure, primal, and completely fucking irrational experience that I get from time to time, a visceral gut-level reaction that absoloutely insists some crazy Highlander shit's about to go down, that one second we're just standing in line waiting for a seat at House of Pies, and the next me and some dude have pulled katanas out of our asses with no other thought but kill! kill! kill!!

Of course, these confrontations have never (yet!!) gone beyond me giving innocent bystanders the hairy eyeball and flaring my nostrils while I'm pawing at my thigh for the dimensional portal where I keep three feet of sharpened cold blooded murder just in case of an instance like this.  As an aside, said dimensional portal has also never fucking worked. Which is probably a good thing for everyone involved.  Especially that bastard over there.

These instances are also fairly remarkable because on the whole I'm a pretty non-violent, easy going sort of guy, unless I'm currently trying to quit smoking in which case I will happily chew your face off just for looking at me funny.  Please note that in none of these cases was I possesed by the spirit of Bitey McNiccotine-Craving, or otherwise under undue mental or emotional stress...  just out and about, minding my own business, then *zing!* some dude's face is telepathically screaming MORTAL KOMBAT!!!  to my limbic system.

Um, so yeah, does anyone else get that?

I'm hoping this is one of those peculiar halucinatory effects of testosterone and a childhood of anger and science-fiction, like mentally plotting out available resources and the defensiblity of nearby buildings in case of impending Zombie Apocalypse. At least I'm fairly certain I'm not the only one that does that.

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